I am the girl who has been there, done that (exactly 2 years ago)-
I had to make a plan to exit...it took time, I was 30 and already living on my own- but I needed a plan:
a plan to get out and maintain my relationship with my mom- I mentally prepared myself for the fact that I would lose everyone, but I did not want to exit by being DF'd or DA myself- I still wanted a somewhat open door to speak to my parents. Thus I backed off meetings and field service....when others noticed that & my relationships with "worldly" people, the elders turned up the heat. I was VERY CAREFUL not to divulge any information that would get me DF'd for apostacy because I knew that having that specific label meant that my JW mom would shun me until her death. I still will not talk doctrine, and it has been two years since my exiting the JW cult. I also do not discuss my personal life with my JW mom (I now have a fiance who I live with), she does not visit me- this severely limits our relationship...but this is the best it can be for now.
I also needed a plan to further my education to get on the right track (I need a better job with security and benefits- I now am stuck in retail, but I am going to university to get a career and expand my mind.
I agree that you need to take some time, breathe, and make a strategic exit that you can live with-
best of luck to you...I am sorry you are under this turmoil now, I assure you that it does get better with time if you have the courage to free yourself-
CHG